Happy Fourth of July Weekend!

Nothing screams patriotism like morons and fireworks!  So remember everybody, if you’re going to set off fireworks, make sure someone is taping it in case something horrible awesome happens.

D*#k in a Sock

WARNING: Strong Language

Pretty sure I wouldn’t want to put my junk in any of those dirty White Sox.

Zambrano Meltdown

I knew that there was a reason for his breakdown on the South Side.  The media wanted you to believe it was caused by some sort of angst with the team.  Man, I did not think these words were that harsh, I guess Zambrano was very sensitive that day.  C’mon Carlos, you can deal with a stumbling White Sox fan!

This is why I could never be a professional athlete, way too much pressure and taunting. If someone taunted me I would either break down and cry or seek revenge.  If revenge was my answer, I would chuck the ball in hopes of shutting him up.  The problem is I am not a professional athlete.  I would miss the guy, and with my luck probably hit a baby!

Dog vs. Cat (Lebron update)

Ok, so this is not much of a Lebron update….as you know he is not going to make any decision until next week.  In the meantime, you can kill time watching stuff like this.

Put another one on the board for the good guys, you know, the dogs.  This should go out as a warning to all you smart ass cats.  Mess with a dog and they will put you in your place.

I have to say though, watching the Cubs this year makes me feel exactly like this cat.  Really, losing to the Pirates again and again and again?

Look Out Below

Lady, why are you jumping off the swing?  This was cute and fun when you were a little bit younger, and wee bit smaller.  Who cares if she is ok, I care more that her weave/wig made it through this rocky exchange.  That’s it, I am buying myself a weave/wig.  It is time to live my dreams of being the sexiest Richard Simmons replica in the world!! Wish me luck!

Pure Sexy Gold!

What the Heck (Grandpa Dancing to Lady GaGa Video) of the Day

Go Grandpa, it’s your birthday!  Old man’s got some moves.  He can join my dance crew anytime.  Someone tell those young dudes to get off Gramps’ d-floor.

“Hey, I guess they’re right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I’ll be right back. Don’t you go dying on me!”

Pat Mannelly, Long Snapper Extraordinaire

Proof of why Mannelly is a captain.  Skill, consistency, leadership all wrapped up in one package.  Although, I would like to see him snap things that aren’t footballs.  Watermelons, bowling balls at windows, rolls of toilet paper on trees, maybe even water balloons at hipsters if there’s time.

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