Look Out Below

Lady, why are you jumping off the swing?  This was cute and fun when you were a little bit younger, and wee bit smaller.  Who cares if she is ok, I care more that her weave/wig made it through this rocky exchange.  That’s it, I am buying myself a weave/wig.  It is time to live my dreams of being the sexiest Richard Simmons replica in the world!! Wish me luck!

Pure Sexy Gold!

Soccer Rules Defined

Correct me if I am wrong, I thought you couldn’t use your hands in soccer!

Euros are Crazy

bad headline

If we have learned anything from being force fed soccer the last few weeks, it’s that Europeans are weird.  At first look, it appears they are holding the sicko up on their shoulders celebrating his time in Westport (he even got a trophy).  Sure, this newspaper didn’t intend (or did they?) to have this picture above the headline, but what paper even puts a headline like that on the front page?

On second thought, if I were a Westport resident I would be thrilled to have a sicko leave my town.  Maybe instead of mocking this paper, we should be following their lead.  Publicly humiliating sickos is a great idea!

Rumble with Pride

Warning: Strong Language

Man, girl on girl action usually is a pleasure to watch.  Take notes Zambrano, this is how you initiate a successful fight!  I thought this was pride fest, this is probably the last place the police thought they would be needed.  I mean so far there are no fights from this year’s Crosstown classic.  Speaking of cops, did it really take them almost a minute to get these 2 rhinos off each other.  Man up, Chicago’s finest.  Although, you’ll never see me pick a fight with these “ladies” or try to stop it.  They would hurt me!

NBA High School Players Drafted Quiz

lebron james high school

Can you name the players that went straight from high school to the NBA?  Take the quiz HERE.

P.S. – If you can’t get at least one player on this list, I would be embarrassed.  Really embarrassed.  Like, don’t even tell anyone you took the quiz and got zero right.

Explanation of US Failure

This explains why the United States National Team failed so miserably over the weekend, the player’s are more focused on Skyping cheesy pop music.  No disrespect to Feilhaber, he was probably the only player against Ghana who didn’t play with their head stuck to their cups.  The United States had the easiest road of any team to the Semifinals.  A victory against Ghana, and a winnable match against Uruguay.  It’s been nice knowing you soccer, you will now remain as prevalent as women’s bowling on the national stage.  See ya again in 4 years!

My Confusion Continues

Let me see if I have figured this out after 2 weeks of World Cup play.  These endurance freaks called soccer players can resist the heavy audible madness known as a vuvuzela.  However, if a bug were to land on their shoulders, they would fake a cardiac arrest. Furthermore, they most likely have internal contests between teammates to see who can fake dive the furthest.  After they have these well timed dives, they roll around and must be taken off by stretchers.  Now, this video comes out of nowhere.  These same athletes, who will cry after a broken finger nail will smack a camera if they get hit by one.  That is the kind of cajones I like to see!! My conclusion, no wonder this sport will never make it in the United States.  It’s like a soap opera with men in tight shorts and bad haircuts.

P.S.  This guy deserves to lose his man card, or be forced to watch Keeping up with the Kardashians for 24 hours straight!