The Scariest Thing I Have Ever Seen. Ever.

After watching that, I’m going to have to sleep with the lights on for the next 2 weeks.  Seriously, how is that guy not locked up yet?  Pretty sure if the authorities went to his house they’d find scores of dead people.

This is scarier than the Cubs bullpen.  Which is terrifying.

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Soccer Fail

Maybe this soccer team should stop acting like a girl’s softball team and focus on the game, huh?  Flopping, short shorts, and now choreographed dances?  Someone call me when soccer starts wearing man pants.  Until then, I’m not watching until the U.S. is in the World Cup again.

We Want Lebron

I have to admit, I am the first one to make fun of stupid viral videos.  However, @TheRetarCrew strikes again with another excellent video.  I actually caught myself singing the chorus on a conference call today.  However, can we stop with the Lebron mother lyrics, that is just not right!  My question is what other sports videos can they do. Here are some thoughts for you guys:

1.  A rap focusing on what exactly is going on in Carlos Zambrano’s mind during the day.

2.  Instead of Heads, Shoulds, Knees and Toes, can you do Aromashodu, Afalava, Idonije and Omalaye…good luck!

3.  A video attempting to translate Ozzie Guillen press conferences

Soccer Rules Defined

Correct me if I am wrong, I thought you couldn’t use your hands in soccer!

Euros are Crazy

bad headline

If we have learned anything from being force fed soccer the last few weeks, it’s that Europeans are weird.  At first look, it appears they are holding the sicko up on their shoulders celebrating his time in Westport (he even got a trophy).  Sure, this newspaper didn’t intend (or did they?) to have this picture above the headline, but what paper even puts a headline like that on the front page?

On second thought, if I were a Westport resident I would be thrilled to have a sicko leave my town.  Maybe instead of mocking this paper, we should be following their lead.  Publicly humiliating sickos is a great idea!

Victoria Secret’s Models Chicago Baseball Fans?

Even though one of us is Cubs fan, and the other a Sox fan, I think we can both agree we would drop our loyalties in a heart beat if it meant being with either one of these ladies.  I don’t even care that their from South Africa and don’t know anything about baseball.  I can teach them.  I’m a good teacher.  So let it be known Candice and Behati, even though you might think I’m out of your league, don’t be too shy to ask about my baseball knowledge.

Chicago Bulls Fans (California Gurls Parody) for LeBron

It’s no secret that we like to promote idiots here.  Not so much to help them gain exposure, but more to mock them in an internet public forum (which I guess does bring them attention anyway).  I give these kids kudos for their loyalty and enthusiasm for the Bulls.  However, I hope LeBron never ever sees this.  Because if he does, he sure is hell ain’t coming to Chicago.  He’d probably be scared crapless that these kids will follow him everywhere he goes.  You know what they say about Redheads, they are twice as bad as the paparazzi.

P.S. – Come on guy, with that layup.  I’m not even sure he would have made it had he lowered the hoop to 6 feet.

P.P.S. – Low blow dudes about LeBron’s mom and Delonte West.  We wouldn’t even go there, and we go to some bad places.